Sometimes, the silence is deafening.
The silence caused by your presence, which is no longer there.
It is there, in our minds, and in our memories, in our wishes, but then – the silence creeps in.
It reminds us that you are missing, that your voice, your body, your movement are all missing.
The silence creeps in the most at night. I sometimes think I hear the door, but of course, it is not you. It cannot be you. But my memories, they still remember.
They cannot forget that the door opening was once your presence. Was. But will never be again. My mind cannot forget, but mostly it does not want to. It does not want to learn the new ways.
I cannot seem to let go of your presence while preserving the memories. Truly, a challenge like no other. My mind is so, so afraid of losing the memories along with the old ways.
Therefore, my mind will still hope that it is you at the door. That I will hear the door, and it will be you. And your voice will be back, and so will your presence.
Your presence. It breaks the silence.
But I know, that the silence will never be broken again. The silence now lingers on, till there is a new silence to feel. A new silence to notice.
Till then, your silence lingers on, and how deafening it remains. How louder it gets, everyday.
It does not tire. It simply is.
Scribbles by Mar 